Heroes!

It just seems as if I have been singing in my head lately..."You are my hero!....". Caitlin is my hero with her strength and determination. Michael and Stephanie are my heroes as they quietly do so many little things to make both Caitlin and I feel loved and appreciated. My colleagues at work are heroes in that they keep me on my toes the minute I walk in the door. They remind me of who I have always been at work each day. The hugs and miss yous that they give me are genuinely heartfelt. Caitlin's co-workers are heroes in that they keep on including Caitlin and I in their activities and lives. Our friends, neighbors, and family are such unsung heroes in that they have hung in there for all these months offering love and support in so many varied ways. Each day I can't help myself but get teary eyed at all the kindness that is bestowed on us each day. Yesterday when Caitlin had to get blood drawn the technician at Labcorp asked if she could pray over Caitlin. I said yes and she did pray right there in her lab station. How could you not get emotional over that!
Our days have been filled with outings and appointments, therapy sessions and new discoveries. A huge step forward is that Caitlin can suck liquids through a straw and chew soft foods and swallow. Of course if you know Caitlin and her eating habits you know that noodles and bread have always been her favorites. She has been eating pieces of bagels, croissants, and a variety of noodles. It takes a lot of effort to eat but Caitlin is proudly doing this. It was so great the other day when she let me know she was hungry. It was also eye opening when Michael told me they had stopped for milkshakes and Caitlin drank hers through a straw. I thought he was teasing but he was dead serious. Caitlin just grinned at my disbelief!
Last week we took a ride to our beloved Lake Tahoe. The sky was so blue, the snow glistened on the mountains, and the lake was crystal clear. We took a little stroll along the beach and sat in the car for a picnic. It was great to get away and share an adventure that was just like old times! Going to a restaurant with Michael and Caitlin for lunch last week proved to be a very tender moment for me. It was Caitlin's first time in a restaurant since getting out of the hospital. She reminded us of this and I was so proud of how well we did with the wheelchair and eating our Chinese food. I just will never take anything forgranted again. Oh, I probably will but at least I will have celebrated it the first time it happened again for Caitlin!
Caitlin continues to make strides in her recovery. The technology that has been installed in her iPhone has been helpful. She is able to type a message and then hit "speak " and we can hear her message. This makes life very portable and easier for her communication. We actually put the electric wheelchair on my car lift and drove to rehab today. It is a bit nerve wracking to keep glancing in the rear view mirror and see the wheelchair out the back window. But the most important thing is that we did it! This old dog is definitely learning new tricks!
I have been making Caitlin show off for family and friends when they visit. I am just so proud of how she is able to walk in our house with our help. Yesterday Caitlin stood at the bathroom counter and brushed her hair. I try so hard not be the over protective mother as Caitlin becomes more independent. I will get better at this, but for now I am still hovering a bit! Hovering with pride and delight is a wonderful thing! Being a caretaker is tiring at best but my spirit gets rejuvenated each time I see Caitlin smile, hear her laughter, and get the thumbs up about something. Of course life is also looking quite wonderful right now in that I begin a month's vacation on Friday. It will be so nice not to be juggling all the balls of my life for a bit. I do have to take on the challenge of figuring out how I am going to work more days after April 20th. But for today I am enjoying a beautiful spring like day and sending big hugs to everyone reading this! We love you!

Can't put it into words but...!

Everyday it seems that we have something to celebrate! Today it is how straight Caitlin was able to get her arm! This new picture is for Jeri, Caitlin's OT, who insists that Caitlin let me move her right arm at least once a day. Some days I get the look from Caitlin but she does let me stretch that arm out. Next week we will have a consult about getting Botox injections into Caitlin's right bicep to help reduce the spasticity in it. This is a common treatment that will be worth a try. Compared to how tense Caitlin's arm was a month ago she has made nice progress but still has a ways to go to get movement and use of this arm and hand. I found an interesting website http://www.valeriegreene.com/ which you might want to look at. Valerie Greene had a stroke when she was 31 and now is a public speaker in advocacy of stroke victims. The photo on line of her in the wheelchair reminded Caitlin of herself. Valerie was paralyzed on the left side of her body, unable to speak, and also lost her hearing on her left side. We purchased her books to read more about her. I am inspired by her recovery over time. It is that "recovery over time" that is so critical in maintaining the best perspective possible.
Our days seem best described as a tear and a smile all rolled into one. It gets frustrating for me to create and define this new life of ours, yet my heart is filled with the love of our family and friends who just never seem to give up on us or forget about us whether they are far away or here in Reno. It is always so heartwarming to have so much laughter fill our house as everyone piles into our living room and gets really cozy. Mal and I agree that Extreme Home Makeover needs to come and blow out the back of our house and make a huge gathering area so we can host the parties and Sunday dinners and fit everyone. In the meantime, do come and cozy in with us...Sadie will put her head in your lap and expect behind her ears to be pet endlessly!

Life Goes On!

It seems as if we are not skipping a beat as one day rolls into the next. Caitlin and I have been out running errands, going to appointments, shopping (of course), and even going to cousin Keith's basketball game on Friday night. One day I counted how many times I had transferred Caitlin and it was 20! Needless to say, that was a bit excessive and I was physically tired but Caitlin and I did it successfully! Therapies are scheduled for Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings from 9-12 from here on out. This schedule will allow me to work those exact same mornings on a very regular basis which is great. Caitlin and I will be going to school when I have things I need to accomplish on Tuesday and Thursday. Hopefully this week we will get the hitch on the back of my car for her electric wheelchair and that will be great for Caitlin's independence with going to therapy and just about anywhere else too. We are waiting for the hitch adapter to arrive. Sean Whisler, a colleague at my school, took it upon himself to take care of this part of our lives. He managed to find a decent lift on Craig's list for a phenomenally low cost. Once again we are so blessed to have such caring people in our lives. As we are working out all the kinks of our life as it is right now I am proud to say we are surviving and thriving. Caitlin and I have some "mother/daughter" moments but overall life is good...a lot of work, a lot of laughter, and a whole lot of love!
Michael and Stephanie have introduced a new card game into our lives called Phase 10. The competition is healthy and involves everyone, especially Tim. Each day when he arrives to visit Caitlin he is determined he will beat Caitlin. We are still waiting for that to happen! The refrigerator has become the "Bragging Wall" for the score sheets. Sweet Stephanie is no longer so sweet as she is not a humble victor! I keep teasing her she will no longer be invited to family dinner if she keeps this up!
It is so fun for me to watch Caitlin sit at the kitchen table and be glued to the computer looking at facebook and myspace. Her life is reappearing a day at a time. I can only imagine how difficult it is to look at everyone's lives, their fun photos, and then reflect on her own life right now. As the mother I am so vested in creating new memories for Caitlin and not focusing on the past but it is a huge challenge in doing this. I am sleeping on an air mattress on the floor of Caitlin's current downstairs bedroom where the hospital bed is. Each night I joke of our slumber parties and getting used to watching MTV's Real World. Sadie snuggles in this small bedroom too. We do laugh at ourselves in this situation but I am still not comfortable leaving Caitlin downstairs by herself. She has a bell to ring, I have a baby monitor for the room, but I think I still live in fear of her having another stroke and my not being there for her. A day at time and I know that someday things will be different but for today this is where we are at!

Home is Healing!

Just quickly wanted to let you all know that Caitlin has been doing very well being at home. She states she is happy to be home and finds comforts in the familiarity of things. Each time we are doing something I remind her of what type of therapy it is...we laugh at how much movement and activity there is involved in daily functioning at home. We made cookies and while Caitlin was licking the beaters she was laughing. She typed that she was strengthening her tongue muscles! She is into healing and helping herself. Her transfers are stronger each day in and out of the car, her wheelchair, her lounge chair, and onto the commode.
We visited Caitlin's place of employment, Sierra Eye Associates, on Tuesday. It was so heartfelt to see Caitlin surrounded by all her colleagues. She was in the middle of a huge circle of smiles and hugs. It is always so amazing to know how loved Caitlin is by everyone there. On the way home she suggested we go shopping for some more sweats for her. We went to Kohl's! Nothing stops that girl from shopping. It was a fun outing. Today the outing to get blood work done and the quick visit to my school was not quite as fun. Therapies have gone well the two times Caitlin has attended so far. It seems as if her schedule will be Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings for three hours each day. This schedule will be paired with the necessary trips to the coumadin clinic where Caitlin gets her blood taken and an INR level checked. Coumadin is a blood thinner necessary to prevent another stroke from occurring. The INR level determines the correct level of the drug in Caitlin's blood. This week we had to have it checked three times.
We also had to make appointments with every type of doctor that Caitlin needs to continue seeing. It has been a full time job getting all this arranged. Needless to say I have been a bit overwhelmed with keeping on top of everything. But as I keep telling Caitlin, so much of stroke recovery is temporary as things will keep changing, I too need to remember this. We are gracefully beginning our journey down a new and exciting path! Thanks for joining in with us!

WE ARE HOME!

I am rejoicing in the glory of the day! Caitlin will start out patient therapies tomorrow and as each day comes we will figure out our routines and abilities of functioning at home. Caitlin's homecoming was a tear and a smile all rolled into one. We will carry the love and friendship of all we met at the hospital and cherish the memory of each and every person and the wonderful care they gave Caitlin. Our circle of friends has expanded in a very precious way. Please come celebrate with us at our house or call on the home phone (775-747-1391) to congratulate Caitlin on this huge step. Caitlin would love to hear your voice or see your face, even better! Caitlin is still communicating with gestures and frantic typing on her portable keyboard but she does have lots to say! WE ARE HOME!!!! YEAH!

Getting Stronger Every Day!

Take a look at the new pictures posted here today...that's my girl!!! She has been working so hard each day and it really, really shows. Caitlin has made a new friend at the hospital who seems to be an inspiration to her as well! Bill was injured in a skiing accident right after Christmas. He arrived on the rehab floor last week, is highly motivated in his recovery, and Caitlin took notice. They have been in physical therapy at the same time and a beautiful friendship has been born! Caitlin has been cruising around in an electric wheelchair and enjoying her independence. Last Saturday morning I was reading the newspaper and realized Caitlin hadn't come back into her room. I went looking for her and there she was in the therapy room "coaching" Bill through his therapy. He has been a great reinforcer for Caitlin's successes the past few days. His cheering Caitlin on is so heartwarming. He calls himself "Uncle Bill"! Both he and his wife, Jill, and his entire extended family have been so sweet to Caitlin. The cheering for Caitlin by the therapists and the nurses has been huge in keeping that smile on her face while she works her heart out. Sometimes there are tears in the process but it seems Caitlin bounces back and continues to work hard. Each day I am amazed to see what Caitlin can accomplish.
My friend, Susan, came up to work a bit with Caitlin to get her voice going with music. Caitlin and Susan were listening to the music from Mama Mia and Caitlin was moving her lips to the beat of the music a bit. Susan wants Caitlin to visual her vocal cords moving each day and work with the music. So, Caitlin and her dad are doing this in the evening. Can you just see Tim singing the Dancing Queen? Of course, he is and Caitlin is giggling the whole way through! It was so interesting to watch Caitlin moving her mouth while trying to get those sounds out! She was moving her tongue with correct placement. This was great in the fact that she couldn't move her tongue anywhere after the second stroke. We had read that some stroke patients can sing even when they can't talk yet and this inspired Caitlin, for sure!
Caitlin just keeps smiling her way through each day and bringing a smile to the faces of many others at the hospital...especially me!

Busy Days and Tired Nights!

Caitlin has been busy with her life in Acute Rehab. She has definitely enjoyed adding water therapy to her routine twice a week. As long as this is added at the end of her day she can return to her room and crash. If water therapy is in the morning she has a hard time staying awake during her other therapies.
Caitlin has been using an electric wheelchair to cruise around on the rehab unit. She does quite well steering it and trying to maintain a slow enough speed. You can get going a little too fast rather quickly...I accidentally did that on my test ride! It currently is in the plan for Caitlin to have an electric wheelchair of her own. Apparently, they are customized and can be quite an elaborate creation. It will be nice for Caitlin to have a greater sense of independence with this wheelchair.
Yesterday Caitlin and I came home for an hour with Roger (PT) and an assistant, Mel. They came to do a home evaluation so that we could see what adaptations we would need to make in order for Caitlin to spend time at home. I was so excited to put Caitlin in my car and walk her into the house. Our friend, John Christensen, built a ramp so we could get in the front door very nicely. It was just so nice to see Caitlin in the living room with a smile on her face. Sadie, our dog, had her head in Caitlin's lap while Caitlin patted her head. Amazing how dogs just seem to know what we all need, lots of love! It seems as if there are minor things to do in our home to get it ready. We learned that we have to have two exits with ramps to meet ADA regulations. I have been moving furniture around to figure out wheelchair accessibility and make it feasible for Caitlin to function in our home. I have also been looking into a recliner chair that is powered by a remote that Caitlin could use herself. The chair will get her to an almost standing position which would make transferring her to the wheelchair much easier. All these things bring an element of excitement as well as fear of what lies ahead. I still have much to learn about transferring Caitlin and we need to learn how to work together to do this.
As I prepare our home I have also been looking at information of neuro rehab facilities in Las Vegas. The case manager at the hospital has been looking into what alternatives would provide the best opportunities for Caitlin's recovery as well. It is all a bit overwhelming and confusing at this point. Caitlin will continue to need intensive therapy in all areas for quite some time but we don't know if what Reno has to offer will be extensive enough. It is a roller coaster ride of emotion to say the least. Each day is different and unpredictable in many ways. But the bottom line always is I am so proud of all Caitlin has accomplished!