An emotional day comes to an end!

The hardest part of having been in the hospital for a month now is knowing how many times all the doctors involved with Caitlin have differing opinions. I get so frustrated because I want one answer that makes sense. Weighing differing opinions and making decisions sometimes becomes too much for a parent! Caitlin is taking a maintainance dose of Dilantin (300mg) to prevent another seizure. Today a new neurologist said that the level of this drug was low as shown in a blood test. It was at the same level as last week when we were told it was okay. The neurologist said she had to have what was called a Dilantin push (800 mg) throughout the day to get this level up. I was not happy with adding any more meds to her body. So of course I asked questions of her doctors and got different opinions. Then I was told that I could refuse treatment. Since I was told this wouldn't hurt Caitlin by one doctor who disagreed with the treatment I decided to say okay. How could I say no to the neurologist's statement that if we didn't do this she could have a seizure again. I have learned that medicine is not a well defined science as I thought it was. If it was then all the doctors would have the same protocol for treatment.
We would all agree Caitlin had good parts to her day today. The PT had her sitting on the edge of the bed. He told her they had tricked her because she thought they were helping her when actually she was doing it herself. Of course she laughed at this bit of information. I think Caitlin was genuinely surprised at herself!
Off and on throughout the day Caitlin expressed her frustration with things by crying and grumbling. I think she is scared at times and other times I think she is so very frustrated. I just can't begin to understand how it would feel to lay in bed and not be able to do for myself physically or verbally.
Thank goodness tomorrow is always another day to start over! We are having relatives from both sides of Caitlin's family visiting over the Thanksgiving weekend. It will be fun for her to see everyone! Difficult in that she still is unable to eat and I am sure would much prefer cranberry sauce over the feeding tube formula!